The Fear of You

Bugs. Heights. Deep water. We all have our fears. Some of us have many, but the greatest fear that we will ever have is the fear we create. It’s not the big hairy spider but the thought of what it might do. That shadow down the hall. What could it be? Our fear is our own creation. Just like our monster, this fear(s) are unique to us. This is why horror movie directors rely on the unknown. The scariest movies are the ones that don’t show us the monster. Don’t reveal what is making the shadow and let us imagine what might be behind the shower curtain. (why is that a thing? Every horror movie seems to have a shower curtain reveal… but I digress).

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In all honesty, the scariest thing in your life is you. Forget about bugs, heights, creepy neighbor Dave or broccoli soup. You are the scariest thing to you. You can create some of the most bloodcurdling fear inducing goosebumps popping horror stories than anyone else. The good news is that this is something that you can actually control. They are things you can dive into and fix!

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Just like sunlight to a vampire, awareness will destroy some of these fears. Can you remember a moment when things weren’t actually as bad as you thought they were? Of course you can, we all can. Most things end up that way. We have the ability to blow things out of proportion and over-react. Just like recognizing our monster, seeing our fear for what it is, will help you deal with it. 

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To reiterate: you are the scariest thing in your life. You scare the shit out of yourself. Probably daily! So, how do we deal with it? Think of it like that angry email you want to send. Someone has pissed you off and you immediately type out a venomous titrate calling them out on their shit. Wisdom tells us to take a moment, breath and a walk, then deal with it rationally. These fears that we have work the same way. When the fear hits, don’t immediately react. Take a moment, breathe and think about the reality of the situation. Is it really that bad? You have probably handled worse, right? In so many cases we are our own worst enemy. Our fear works like a magnifier. Any situation will appear 10x worse though our eyes.

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My point here is not to worry about something until there is something to worry about. Sounds silly but it is so true. For example, you are being called into the boss’s office. You will sit and create scenarios in your head. Each one worst that the one before until you are convinced that your boss is actually a giant squid ready to devour you in retribution for all of the sushi that you eat… ok, maybe I went a bit far but we have all made a situation far worst that it would ever be, n’est pas?